After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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