drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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