trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
