Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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