i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
