I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
