How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
