I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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