STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
