he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
