I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
