Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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