just come out here and I will go home with you...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
