Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
