he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize