Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
