isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
