You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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