i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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