Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
