ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
