butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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