The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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