There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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