I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
