escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
