Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
