a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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