just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
