Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
