My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
