ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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