from now on my penis is your penis
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
