ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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