Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize