So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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