this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
