Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
