He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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