I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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