I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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