He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
