He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
