they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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