It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize