I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
