What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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