It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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