i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
