Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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