What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize