Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
