maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
this boner is exhausting
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
