if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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