Where did you get a picture of my penis
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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