Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
