Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
