I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
