careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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