ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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