ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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