Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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