margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
