My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
